Self-Influence Is the Key to the Pattern of Your Life – 4
IS YOUR LIFE PERFECT?
No reason for it not to be, even though you might give me a dozen reasons as to why it isn’t. I know thousands of persons whose lives you would consider perfect; they all look very much like you, because they are all "humans." Human beings do have the capacity for leading ideal lives, even though you and I know that most of them are on the other side of the fence. For the most part, that "fence" is one they build themselves. Lives less than perfect are as much "home-made" as are those that are right.
Don’t be a fenced-in slave
I knew a husband and wife who apparently hated each other, yet they continued to live together, with a "fence" of their own making between them. I have known hundreds of people who hated their jobs, yet they continued to plod back and forth between job and home each day, like "fenced-in slaves." I have known scores of persons who variously hated the mornings, or the nights, or the week-days, or the week-ends. They even hated the holidays! They had blocked out whole areas of time which they said were "no good" for them. Obviously none of these people had much chance of getting up to the "perfect" standard in life.
But notice that I said I knew these people, as I described them. I knew them as students in the Simmons Institute courses. Through self-influence, they eventually knocked down those fences. The husband and wife really loved each other, and they are now enjoying a blessed life, living together under the influence of expressed love in action. Others have gotten out of the rut and now have inspiring "careers" rather than routine jobs. Still others now use every hour of every day to live a full life, with no blank spots. These people learned, as you are about to learn, that self-influence is the key to a perfect life.
Your three steps of learning
Yes, the next step is to learn the skill of self-influence for yourself. We are going to tackle this job of "learning" by using those three proven steps of planning, practicing, perfecting. The tempo will be much more accelerated than that which usually marks the process of learning a skill. There aren’t going to be any slow, plodding schemes to follow, nor any generalized formulae that fit only one out of a hundred people.
We are concerned with you, and your life, and you can’t afford to wait until you are too feeble to enjoy it to have perfection in your life. You and I together are going to make a plan, and, just from the act of making the plan, it is going to have immediate value to you. And you are going to practice.
There will be nothing hypothetical about the practice sessions. Each one will be directly related to your everyday life. "Purely practical" is the slogan for this practice. You are not going to have to wait until you have some kind of "diploma" to be considered competent. Each practice step will bring about a degree of perfection in self-influence.
So, for a short time, we will give all our attention to that plan. You’re going to need a piece of paper and a pen or pencil to do your part in this planning. A small piece of paper will do; even a 3 x 5 file card will serve the purpose. You are only going to make a few notes on this paper. After you are through, you are going to leave it, sort of as a bookmark, in the pages of this chapter.
It is most important that you get this paper now and plan on using it. This is no "gimmick" or clever idea. What you put down on this paper will become the basis for the practical practice, with highly desirable results in prospect. You see, this is not to be my plan for you but your plan for yourself. So please put your book down for a moment, and get that paper and pencil!
Thank you! Now both of us are ready to move along.
The beginning of a good experience
You have never made a plan like this one before. Don’t make hard work of it. Don’t wear a frown. Just take it easy, and everything will go along smooth and easy-like. It is important that you just let this plan form itself, in line with the suggestions I will give you.
It will be much better if you react emotionally rather than ponder at length. This is the beginning of a good experience. Enjoy every moment of it. In fact, our method of making this plan has the attributes of an interesting game.
I am going to put a list of fifteen subjects in front of you now. Imagine that I am handing you a most unusual menu, from which you will make some choices for a most extraordinary "meal." Every one of the items listed represents a basic need or desire in your life. Regardless of how you have lived your life in the past, or the pattern of it in the future, everything you do comes from a fundamental urge that is rooted in one or more of these subjects.
The choice is yours
Our menu offers the subjects in three groups of five each. Choose one subject from each group. Just one, please! Looking over the whole list, you will probably say: "Why, I really want all of these!" Eventually I’ll see that all of them are "served" to you, but just now choose three, as though you were choosing a "balanced meal" from the menu. They will amount to more than a "full meal," for this experience.
Here is where the pencil and paper are necessary. As you choose a subject from each group, you will also answer the question related to it. You will write the title of the subject, and your answer to the question, on the paper. When you have covered the list, you will have written three subject titles and three answers. Simple enough, isn’t it? Yes, but this piece of paper is going to become one of your prized possessions!
Just a bit of coaching, before you make your choices. Choose subjects for which you have a strong feeling of need or desire. They may be things that you have wanted to have, or to do, for such a long time that, up to this moment, it has seemed as though they would never come true for you. Still, you want them badly. Also be sure that the subjects call for action by you. Be sure that they depend upon your decisions and upon your choice of the kind of action involved. In other words, these should be very personal, strongly wanted choices, which would dynamically affect your life if they could be made to happen. You are ready, and here is Group One.
1. TIME—a vital factor in your life. What one thing could you do to get more out of the time you devote to a particular period of your everyday life, such as your working hours, your "play" hours, your family-time periods, your reading period, etc.?
2. mONEY—that necessary economic factor in your life. What one thing could you do to increase the value of money that is marked for you, in relation to how you use it? You might be considering budgets, buying habits, talking it over more with your marriage partner, and so forth.
3. ENERGY—that necessary "go-power" in your life. What one thing could you do that would be "above and beyond" your normal program, if you had more energy?
4. HEALTH—the factor that is necessary to maintain life on an even keel. What one habit could you correct, or what new habit could you acquire, that would improve your sense of well-being, of feeling right all the time?
5. THE FUTURE—that distant horizon you always have an eye on. If you could do it, what one thing about your future would you like to see forecast?
All right, you have read the choices in Group One. Now go back and read them over. Make your choice, and answer the question. Now go on to Group Two.
1. LOVE—the source of warmth in your life. In relation to the other person who is close to you, what one thing could you do to strengthen the bond of love between the two of you?
2. CONTENTMENT—that feeling that comes when all’s right with the world. What one circumstance or condition in your life could you improve to bring you greater contentment?
3. PEACE OF MIND—the much-sought-after inner feeling of harmony. What one circumstance or condition in your Me would increase in value if you could have peace of mind about it?
4. ADVENTURE—that urge to do something new and different. What one stimulating activity would you be part of if you had the chance to "let yourself go"?
5. BEAUTY or LOOKING YOUR BEST. Obviously, it’s "beauty" if you are a woman and ‘looking your best" if you are a man. In either case, be assured that everybody wants one or the other. What one thing could you do to let your kind of beauty show forth or to meet that standard you want to meet for looking your best?
As you did with the first group, re-read this group. Make your choice and write your answer. Here’s Group Three.
1. ACHIEVEMENT—a required action in your life if it is to be a full life. What one thing could you do to be marked with that hallmark of distinction that is given a person who achieves a personal goal?
2. RECOGNITION—without which life is pretty dull. What one activity could you initiate, or what one action could you be part of, that would allow you to use your best talents to good advantage?
3. SELF-EXPRESSION—without which the world would be a most uninteresting place. What one "good idea" do you have that is "ready to pop" and where and how could you let it be known to others?
4. PERSONALITY—that "living display" of the real you. What one thing could you do to best display the best of your personality attributes?
5. HAPPINESS—that ultimate goal for all time. What one thing could you do that would make happiness be so real in your life that you could practically "taste it"?
Once again, re-read the list, make a choice and answer the question. Now you have done all the "writing" necessary. But hold on to that paper while we establish its important status.
Stimulating and inspiring prospects
As we consider what you wrote on that paper, we see the beginning of a plan of living that has stimulating and inspiring prospects. Suppose, for example, you have put down energy, peace of mind, and recognition and that you have defined the things you could do to make them realities in your life. There isn’t anything better that could happen to you, to make life really worthwhile, than to have three good outcomes from what you do. But let’s be sure we read the "fine print" in this proposal. I hope you noticed that I asked you to specify actions that you could do, because "could" means that you can do them. I should caution that you have committed yourself to doing them, because I am now going to lead you into those practice steps—which simply means "doing them."
What you have actually done, in making these choices, is to take the first and basic step in the practice of self-influence. You decided to do some things that are related to urgent needs and desires. You pinned these specific things down as actions you wanted to do, and you have said you can do them. You have overcome that inertia which up to now has made these desired objectives just passive wishes. You have turned on the power, by making a pact with yourself. That power is symbolized by what is on this piece of paper of yours.
Make a pact with yourself
Why is this paper a source of power, an inanimate thing like this? It is because before you can do anything worthwhile— that is, of your own volition—you must make a pact with yourself by saying: "This I want to do, this I can do." You must influence yourself, first, before you can expect to influence that "what, how and when" of doing. And, certainly, you must influence yourself first, with the importance of your plans for action, before you can expect to influence others who will be related to your actions. (Your practice of self-influence in relation to influencing other people is covered in the next chapter.) You are on your way to a bull’s-eye score on the subjects you chose.
What happens to the piece of paper now? It stays right here, in your book. Place it as a bookmark at the beginning of this chapter. It will be handy, in this spot, to refer back to as we get into the practice steps. But more than that, this piece of paper, representing the start of your self-influenced program of achievement, tells you that this book certainly is yours. Through the guidance of the succeeding chapters, what you said you WANTED on that list, you will get!
Remember your agreements
Just a gentle reminder at this point. While this personal plan of yours is "percolating," you are going through with those agreements you made in Chapter 2, aren’t you? I am depending on you to do that, because taking those actions will help prepare you for the practice steps in relation to your new plan.
Things have taken a rather active turn, haven’t they? You wish you could spend all of your time on such activities. Well, you will, eventually. This is only the beginning. But don’t pass up a second of the enjoyment and stimulation that is related to what you are doing now.
IN SUM
By planning, practicing and perfecting, you can learn the skill of self-influence.
If you really want to build a fire under this self-influenced plan of yours, make a copy of this list of personal choices. Better yet, make a couple of copies. Perhaps you should write them on the back of your business card, or on a piece of colored paper, so that when you see it, it will look like something special. Put one copy of the list in your wallet, or in your purse, so that it stays with you during the day. Put another copy in a spot where you are likely to come across it frequently during your working day. For example, place a copy under the glass on top of your desk or on the mirror over your dressing table. Do this and feel the stimulating effect of these reminders of what you have done, reminders of the fact that through self-influence, and on your own, you have taken the first step in "calling your own shots."
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